In every generation, there are those who stand out. Those few men and women but mostly men because that’s how this fucked up society works (assholes).
What? Oh right. Those brave few decide to take on the world and do things that normal people are too frightened or too smart to try. It is thanks to these few that we, as human beings, learn about stuff and then put it into textbooks.
I know such a man. His initials (for privacy sake on the internet) are J. P. Learn them well, for you will be hearing about his feats. Ha, I almost put feets. Ok, but seriously.
This brave, lovely, ridiculous fool has declared that he will…
Oh yes. Oh yes. I am referring to the latest barfest from that bastion of civilized society KFC. Kentucky Fried Chicken. See, it’s never enough for the old Colonel to just stagnate on fried to bits ass chicken and rotten coleslaw. He needs to challenge his users and this is his latest evil attempt to get people to straight drop dead on the dirty tile.
It’s not the first time the old bastard has driven us to our homes to eat in the dark. In fact, the best selling KFC item (I’m told, not really confirmed because, meh, that’s work) is the Bowl Of SHAME.
Ugh. Ok, look, have I, on occasion (read: pregnant or drunk, never both people, never both) had a few chicken strips and maybe some mashed potatoes with a side of corn? Sure. I have. We all have. However, you know what? Throwing all that shit in a bowl? No. That’s like wearing sweatpants before Saturday and marrying your cousin.
And now, in addition to the bowl, I present the Double Down:
I’m not even making this up. It’s chicken, smashed onto more chicken, with a bunch of mayonnaise masquerading as lettuce in-between them. Then, naturally, add bacon.
And today, or maybe tomorrow – he didn’t really say. JP will take that challenge. He’s like Christopher Columbus. Only instead of discovering a continent, he may be able to tell us what the inside of the new Norman Regional looks like.
God speed JP. I will take care of your many cats when you stroke out on Highway 77.