Wow. Did that last week even happen? With the shoulder pain and the nausea and the general feeling of ‘what the hell was I thinking’? It seems so far away now. Now that I’m back at work and the boys are home and my mom is at her home. A week isn’t really that long a time but honestly, last monday feels like a month away.

All that’s left is some achiness and itchiness. But I guess itchy = healing, according to my best friend the internet. So that’s good.

The mind and the body are so strange. I mean, a week ago I could barely see straight and I was wondering why the hell everyone said hernia surgery was no big deal and blah blah. But now, a week out, I would tell strangers that it’s a little rough the first day but no big deal, totally worth it, blah blah blah. I have to keep reminding myself that for five days it felt like a really BIG deal. It felt like I would never be the same and my shoulders would fall right off and they would have to make me new plastic arms like Barbie.

What switch flipped in my brain? I kind of remember this feeling from the c-sections. I was really unconcerned about recovery from my second c-section because my memory of my first was that it wasn’t that bad, same with having a newborn. BUT THAT IS NOT RIGHT. Both things were full on difficult. Nothing like I remember the first time and now, 11 months later I only remember telling myself to remember how hard it was not actually how painful/tired/etc. I actually was.

Weird.

But anyway, I’m back and now I can wear a bathing suit without a flesh button. Or I could if I wore bathing suits but, please.

How are you all? I’ve missed you so!

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