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Ok, I’m just going to get this out of the way. I have no Soul. Not a Black Soul. Or a lime green Soul. I am Soul-less.

A moment to cry.

Moment over. ┬áHere’s the thing – the new Kia Soul is like $17,000+. +!

There’s no way. Buying really new cars also seems skeevy. Like, new cars are the sort of thing Tipper and Al do, back when they were Tipper and Al. I’m more of a used lady.

So, you think, why not just buy a used Kia Soul, a Soul that’s had some mileage, some character, some story? Well, I’ll tell you this. The only used Souls within a 50 mile radius of my ass was at Carmax.

Carmax is real shady people. If you went to the desert, you would probably want to bring a Carmax with you. Since I’m a smart consumer, I let the internet fill me in on all the weird horrible that is this Carmax place. And decided that I couldn’t, in good conscience, get a Soul there.

So, instead I got a used Honda Civic…


Try not to get jealous as I slowly accelerate past you on the highway.

Hell yeah. I’m going to slap an apple sticker on that bitch, load up my son named Fox and head on down to Barnes’ and Noble to get a free smoothie with my new Nook and see how many people flip me off.

Before you get all sad about the Kia and all wha? about the civic you should breath. Civics are cool and hybrids are Tipper. It’ll be ok. I haven’t given up on the Soul. Maybe that will be the next car…in 12 years.


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