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Oh my jeebus. It’s so hot in here. They have the air conditioning off for some reason, not really sure, maybe I should have read the official looking email. Coffee isn’t helping but what am I supposed to do? Quit drinking it? I know, please.

Flip Off – Kludgy

BWS tips button– Boobs

We all know the drill.

F you Self – you lazy lazy lazier. Today there should be a final Fancy Horse competition post but there is not. That’s because I’m ****. Instead of putting them up last night, I had to dust and watch Bones. Then I had to make myself feel better for being so lazy and wrote a list of the things that bother me in Bones (top of the list: the “lesbian” going “bi” then marrying a “man”). THEN I had to have lots of Sweets fantasies. For those who don’t watch Bones reruns this is Sweets.

Yes, I prefer

to
Sexy,David Boreanaz

I’m like a manboyfemininasexual. But hot guys just do not do it for me. I want em skinny, girly but with male parts. Let’s evaulate my tastes at a later date shall we?

moving on…

F you hot – I can’t work under these conditions. This is NOT fancy horse.

I can’t even breath. I may go outside to escape this madness. Outside!

Leave your f’s. And your Sweets love.

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Alert: To everyone who does these blog hops –

if you don’t and you are like ‘what the what is a blog hop’ then just tune this part out, go, like, I don’t know, read some Robert Pattison gossip or something –

oh but then you have to come back and hear me bitch and then you bitch ok? Great.

Back to alert: I do read and I do commiserate and I do laugh. I just can’t really bring it with the comments all the time because of j.o.b. duties. It’s a bitch. I know. Also, please please PLEASE put your full blog in a reader. Half feeds  = unfriendly times.

The end of ALERT!ALERT!ALERT! <—oh maybe I should have done that at the beginning of the alert? Whatever, it’s done, moving on.

Flip off Friday brought you by Gigi and

BWS tips button<—-by a woman who has boobs in her blog title. For real. Click the man for linkage.

F you position of new desk – Worst. position. ever. My back is to my door which means people can straight sneak up on me. You see? Right then I had to turn my head because every slight noise or shadow gets me paranoid. Plus, there’s some kind of new universe law that says no one will come see me for HOURS until the five minutes I decide to look at facebook.

F you Vendor Who will Not be Named – Don’t get snippy with meh. I will eat you for breakfast. There’s a new sheriff in this town and his name is ME. First, FIX THE PROBLEM. Don’t go pissing off my libraries and brushing them off. Second, yeah, you know what? It’s not that I’m an idiot who doesn’t understand your product, it’s that your product sucks. Though I should thank you because now a library thinks I’m awesome and powerful. You need to learn that lesson as well.

F you Psyche – What is wrong with me? Why do I like the villains? Last night we were watching Dr. Who (duh, of course we were. Now we have a DVR (bliss!) and so we can recored Star Trek while watching Dr. Who! It’s a paradigm of brilliant proportions!). Anyway, what? I’m ADD today. Right. Villains. So I’m all like, ‘Yeah Saxon/Master (the villian) and whatever whiny Doctor (the hero)’.  Why does that happen? In my defense, Saxon is ambitious, better looking and, oh yeah, he’s got a bigger screwdriver.

I really should not be surprised that there's a Dr. Who card game but I am.

Finally, F you Tummy – I know according to my blog searches report that people are searching more ‘baby hippos’ than ‘Taylor Lautner shirtless’ so cute, short, chubby things are every happening but…I mean, it’s been a year since the c-section. Plus, the hernia(s) removal…so, why? Why do you still look 4 months pregnant. It makes me want to hibernate.

Your turn lovelies.

Whew, it’s that time again. F to the U to the DAY. That should be a football cheer. Or futbol. World Cup. Whatever.

Ok, so here’s the drill – Flip Off Friday (via Kludgy Mom and Amy) and Fawk You Friday (which I heard about from Christy)

BWS tips button

<—-this well endowed (that’s a really big finger is all I’m saying!) dude is a link. Click on him if you want to see lots of other people and their rage.

What? Wait – you can’t do TWO things at once.

Wellll, F you. This is the goddamn internet. And the goddamn internet is RENEGADE. That means I can do whatever I want. You can’t even stop me. All you can do is start your own blog or leave a hateful comment here.

But don’t do that because it will hurt my feelings and I will make it my goal in life to destroy you (virtually).

F you friends who go out of town – Good going. Way to make me sit here all bored and shit. Plus, it’s my birthday weekend. Didn’t think about that did you, anonymous friend whose name starts with an E? No you did not. I hope you choke on Chicago pollution….are you home yet? Let’s hang out.

F you World Cup – I guess this is a cup that the whole world wants to own? Kind of like Helen and the golden apple except the reward isn’t being called beautiful and having sex with hot guys, it’s winning a cup. And respect. Or something. Not clear on the whole concept. What I am clear on is that people will not stop talking about it. It almost makes me miss the oil.

This is the world cup. I know. It's ugly as sin.

F you anxiety – could you leave for one day? ONE day? I wonder what it’s like to just wake up and actually believe that everything will be alright. Seriously. I feel like maybe if I were a circus clown I would be anxiety free but I am not talented like clowns are. I worry that if I do think things will be fine then that will trigger the bad, like the Universe will be all, ‘what the – no, you need the fear. You can’t just relax, here’s some bad bad shit down on you so you will learn.’

Happy to Birthday to me! Birthdays are great and fun. I got a cool pop up from my mom (yes, I collect pop up books but remember that my husband recruits aliens so my arrested development is pretty ok) and some nice cards. Tonight I will sip on a gin and tonic and toast myself. It’s what I do best.

Hugs and Chugs.  Leave your f’s in the comments.

The f stands for future.

No it doesn’t.

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