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Connect me. Connect me. Connect me.  Aaaaaahhhhh.

See? Shit like this is another reason I love the internet.

Yesterday was hard. While I had my boyfriend the iPhone, it’s impossible to look up anything fun on it. I mean, yes, there’s the fb app so I got all of your pointless, yet compelling for some reason, status updates. And yes, there are games. But could I find out if Justin Bieber was an alien? No.

Could I look up recipes for granola? No.

I was helpless. I had to rely on actual human discussion. At a library conference! I knooooooww! It sucked so badly. I learned things about the census that had nothing to do with anything important ever. I was like, “Hey census guy, do you know how many people are living in Elijah Wood’s house?”

Census Guy did not.

Fucking. Worthless.

Census Guy also had a spectacular, fancy display that made my display look amateur. So I was like, ‘Hey Census Guy, I like your fancy display and your free pencils. Pretty snazzy.’

And Census Guy was all. ‘Uh huh.’  Silence. Silence. Silence.

Turns out the census and its guys are really boring. Who knew?

So in the middle of my deprevation I started thinking and this is the kind of thinking that gets you in trouble because here’s what I thought:

You know what? This Justin Bieber kid isn’t that bad.

Stay with me.

First, he brings people to my blog. Him and Eddie Furlong and now Lee Dewyze. Enjoy your pictures people who steal pictures and don’t read. It’s ok (I do it all the time, just glad to share.)

Second, he was raised by a teen mom.  You know who loves teen moms? *double thumb point to chest* This lady. Hell, if I had known how fun and hip being a teen mom is, I would have become one.  Time machine use #489.

Third, he was discovered on YouTube. YouTube is so powerful and entertaining. YouTube is nothing like the census!

Fourth, he’s actually kind of funny and plastic. Both are things I appreciate in a manchildaliengirl.

I haven’t listened to his music. Is it even really about the music?

No, no of course not.

In the end, the moral is that I NEED AN IPAD.

That is all. Enjoy the pictures thousands of blog flooders picture stealers. I love you for your dedication to image search. You know that’s true.


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