Aspirations are Kicking My Ass

So, I’ve decided to whip my abs into shape.  Kapow!  Like that and like this.  I guess?  I don’t know, I bet it takes more than 15 minutes a week to get that but 15 minutes is all I got.

I walk into abs blaster class feeling pretty good, probably because I’m familiar with blasting.  I used to play Master Blaster for hours and I was great at it.  Hours.  This little dinky class is 15 minutes.

Leader begins by telling us to grab some balls.  Good start.

A big ball and a little ball that comes in a variety of weights except not 1 pound or .5 pounds or 0 pound which is what I needed.

Then Leader tells us to sit down and bounce on the balls.  I know, I know, with all my practice you’d think I’d be good at this part.  You’d be wrong.  First bounce and I practically ram my face into the floor.  My sweet face – I can’t fuck it up!

Next comes lifting the balls above your head with your feet (!) and somehow not dropping them.  It was nerveracking.

Blog Readers be Aware: No self respecting person does this shit on a beach.

Then, just to make this post nice and round, I accidently walked into the men’s dressing room.  Take from that what you will.

Dirty.