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First, an update: It is still sub-zero but thanks to several layers, heavy pants, socks and Wuggs – I’m doing ok.  thanks for asking.

Now onward to the new thing that’s making my life helllll.

Car trouble.

ukla;goafhgio0al ngfofjdlksajf lzsd goddamn CAR TROUBLE

Ladies, am I right?  Sorry, that was sexist.

It turns out my beloved 1999 Saturn is terminal. This is really really sad and I am really really sad about it. It’s  complete news to me because I thought she was purring along just fine. The following conversations led to the diagnosis:

Danny: Your car is leaking something.

Me: It is? I hadn’t noticed. Whatever.

Danny: No, leaking is bad.

Me: In people. Leaking is bad, in people. In cars it’s just like…condensation.

To save you the boring end result which included a fight over mechanics aka car doctors aka pain in my ASS – leaking is bad in people and cars. So we were both right. I’m very rarely completely wrong – except in this conversation:

Danny: Your check engine light is on.

Me: Yeah it does that. I like it, it’s pretty.  And don’t worry, check engine lights don’t mean anything.

Check engine lights do mean things. Terrible things. Things like expiration date and no point in taking any other measures and the worst thing of all

Danny: We need a new car.

ajlfa ndfklaj klfha lkfd l;fhd aljsd

Have you ever seen those creepy dustbowl era apple dolls? That’s how I feel when I think about new cars. Like a shriveled dusty assugly apple doll. Everything about buying a new car is trouble. There’s so many decisions and all I care about is safety. Because. Duh.

So it’s back and forth with Danny going on about some sink thing that I’m still unclear about and me going on about IIHS and how marginal is not ok, marginal might be ok when talking about a one night stand or a catered office party but is is NOT OK when talking about car safety.

Then, out of the madness, a whisper

Kia

What’s that you say?

Kia

Isn’t that Korean? nothati’mracistkoreaiscool

Kia

Specifically, the Kia Soul. Ah, Soul. Kia Soul.

So safe.

So affordable.

So fugs.

I kind of love it.

Kia Soul - hairless cat of the car world.

And Danny kind of agrees. Only he doesn’t want lime green. I know, it doesn’t register with me either. It’s like, if you have the choice of lime green, why the why wouldn’t you take it?

While I’m imagining myself cruising around in my lime green Kia Awesome, towing my beloved purple Saturn behind me for nostalgia, Danny keeps sending me links. So I guess I’ll take it to you guys, what car would you recommend? Fantasy land so throw whatever you want out.

This is all dependent on us getting a loan of course. Which will never happen. Thanks much grad school you expensive bitch.

And now, to close out the post-

Actual hairless cat, ironically resting on a hairy rug.

Oh, and did you notice that you can now post these gems to your facebook? or the twitspace or whatever? You can even email them! Doesn’t your mother need some Free Therapy? You know she does.

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