Whew, it’s that time again. F to the U to the DAY. That should be a football cheer. Or futbol. World Cup. Whatever.
<—-this well endowed (that’s a really big finger is all I’m saying!) dude is a link. Click on him if you want to see lots of other people and their rage.
What? Wait – you can’t do TWO things at once.
Wellll, F you. This is the goddamn internet. And the goddamn internet is RENEGADE. That means I can do whatever I want. You can’t even stop me. All you can do is start your own blog or leave a hateful comment here.
But don’t do that because it will hurt my feelings and I will make it my goal in life to destroy you (virtually).
F you friends who go out of town – Good going. Way to make me sit here all bored and shit. Plus, it’s my birthday weekend. Didn’t think about that did you, anonymous friend whose name starts with an E? No you did not. I hope you choke on Chicago pollution….are you home yet? Let’s hang out.
F you World Cup – I guess this is a cup that the whole world wants to own? Kind of like Helen and the golden apple except the reward isn’t being called beautiful and having sex with hot guys, it’s winning a cup. And respect. Or something. Not clear on the whole concept. What I am clear on is that people will not stop talking about it. It almost makes me miss the oil.
F you anxiety – could you leave for one day? ONE day? I wonder what it’s like to just wake up and actually believe that everything will be alright. Seriously. I feel like maybe if I were a circus clown I would be anxiety free but I am not talented like clowns are. I worry that if I do think things will be fine then that will trigger the bad, like the Universe will be all, ‘what the – no, you need the fear. You can’t just relax, here’s some bad bad shit down on you so you will learn.’
Happy to Birthday to me! Birthdays are great and fun. I got a cool pop up from my mom (yes, I collect pop up books but remember that my husband recruits aliens so my arrested development is pretty ok) and some nice cards. Tonight I will sip on a gin and tonic and toast myself. It’s what I do best.
Hugs and Chugs. Leave your f’s in the comments.
The f stands for future.
No it doesn’t.