I just realized that my post title does not, as I intended, bring to mind the fine line between female exploitation and empowerment but rather – pregnancy test results.

Oh, irony.

The fucking irony…

Whatever. I’m going to leave it.

Warning: both but especially the second of these videos are NSFW. <—-that internetz speek for NUDITYVIOLENCEDISTURBING <—-which = awesome

This past week I was assaulted by bras. First practically every gay man I know flashed the new Gaga video on the fb. (which brings up the fine rainbow line of stereotype vs. just having awesome taste – oh yes, btw I’ve converted to GAGA worship. I will throw myself on a rampaging glitter unicorn for her.)

Then another friend of mine was all, ‘oh this shit reminds me of you’. And I was totally flattered because that is my dream come true. Minus the losing of the arm part.  Oh and the yakuza slayings and the death. But the parts about kicking ass and being asian – yes please!

*for those who are all, ‘yaka what? the yakuza are like the mafia, sort of”.

Now there is much to discuss in the Gaga video (the Madonna connection, religious symbolism, etc.)  and the Machine Girl preview but I’m going to focus on the bra.

For purposes of this little rant – exploitation/empowerment, titillation/provocation, oppression/opposition  – also notice how often the English language accommodates alliteration? I love that.

Why the bra, why not the panties?

Yes, why strap guns to bra and not panties. First, because with a bra you get two of them and I imagine, thanks to the close proximity to the hands, better aim. There’s the practical reason.

However, more importantly, strapping a gun to your panties looks like penis. Which is not the point.

So, the bra it is.

You’ll notice in the Gaga video she chooses both an empowering gun bra and an oppressive cross/penis image on her underwear. Discuss.

So what’s the difference between exploitation and empowerment?

That little pink line  – goddamn it there has to be a better metaphor –

Let’s take our friend and songstress Xtina.

Look, I like this bitch. I love her voice and her hair but  –

I'm a dirrrty girl - or a raccoon, either one.

This is exploitive. It, in terms of femaleness or female identity, is a lie. Not that some women don’t like wrestling, I’m sure they do. But Xtina is not doing this to use the testosterone driven imagery of wresting to make a point – she’s doing it to be titillating.

As compared to Gaga in who is using the all women’s prison imagery to be provocative. To tell a truth. Also, other things but that’s for another time.

Equally naked but for different reasons.

Or more bluntly:



Britney (god love her) does titillating very very well. But titillating as an art form is unsustainable. Why? Because it takes little effort to both produce and participate. Wham Bam Thank you Mam.

Madonna does provocative very very well. Provocative art is sustainable because it can evolve and requires much audience/reader/viewer participation in order to exist. Madonna exists because we question/challenge/adore her.

Brittany exists because we watch until we’re bored.


Now look I loves me some Brit.  Why? Because she is straight bat-shit crazy and because she does titillate me and being titillated feels good. I like sparkle bras as much as the next lady:

I would totally rock this in the privacy of my own home.

But sparkle bra is not at all who I am.

Drill bra is a different story….

Of course, like I said, it’s a very fine line and you can manage to be both exploiting and empowering yourself, it’s possible. There is also the very real possibility that I’m completely full of shit.

And that my friends, is how you kill time on the internet.

As always, Bounce your Boobs.

GAGA kisses and hugs and snugs.