Happy Day After Memorial Day! Are we all super excited to be back to ‘regular life’? Like opposed to our non-normal life that we spent yesterday?
I know you are probably most excited for my return. 4 days is a long time for you to go without me! It must have been very hard on you. I’m sorry. I would say I care but I have a life bitches. That’s right, serious business fun was spent this weekend in Branson.
Stop mocking me. Branson is…
Whatever anyway, here’s a few things I was pondering while clogging my arteries with buffet breakfast (I will discuss a couple of these in further detail this week):
- Michael Pollan – how do we feel about him?
- Branson – WTF is up with this city/hoe down/sensory overload hell?
- How come sometimes tiny versions of things are funny – like horses, coffee cups and t-shirts – but tiny version of other things are not – like preemies, cupcakes and penises?
- Why are my boyfriends B and R the only people who enjoy discussing tentacle sex? I would think more people would be interested in this as it involves monsters and boobs but all anyone ever does is yammer on about oil and shit and I’m all, “does this oil have tentacles? does this oil want to have sex with you? NO? Then why the hell are we even talking about this? Next.
(I was going to post a tentacle sex picture but then I thought of my mom and how sometimes my posts make her cry so instead I offer you this.)
But before I go into all that, let’s take a moment to therapize.
This weekend was full of toddler fun and toddler freak outs and toddler running like he’s being chased but not running like he’s about to be hit by a car, which he should have been running like if he was going to pull away in that parking lot.
What the fuck is up with toddlers? Mine is non-stop action and tantrums and we feel like we’re always harping on him, “Fox stop eating dirt, you look like a daycare kid” *note: He IS a part-time daycare kid, except in summer and I think daycare is awesome so it’s not a reflection on how I feel about daycares at all, however you do have to admit that daycare kids do tend to eat more sand than those homebound ones.*
“Fox stop running into oncoming traffic.”
“Fox stop kicking your brother in the face.”
“Fox stop kicking your brother in the leg.”
“Fox quit it, quit it, quit it!”
It’s exhausting and not fun to constantly be disciplining or whatever. Is this just a stage? He turns 3 in a couple of weeks. I’ve heard 3 is worse than 2. Is that true?
Don’t get me wrong, he is still a great kid just a determined one. Oh, and he does not give a damn. He could care less about praise or yelling. He’s just like, ‘whatever. I’m going to go over here now.’
So while this weekend was fun, it was also kind of tiring. I think restaurants are out for a while. Which sucks because eating out is fun.
I guess the point of this ramble is – toddlers, what do you do about them? and any restaurant advice?
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June 1, 2010 at 8:25 am
Shelby
Umm, “…is still a great kid just a determined one. Oh, and he does not give a damn. He could care less about praise or yelling. He’s just like, ‘whatever. I’m going to go over here now.’” This sounds freakishly like someone else I know. I mean someone that I grew up with from birth (and who may or may not have kicked me several times during our formative years.) Just sayin!
Hahaha and I loved that freakin tiny cup of coffee and its tiny lid!!!
June 1, 2010 at 10:49 am
winklybink
Yes! The tiny lid was the best. It was to protect you in case you spilled that drop of coffee.
June 1, 2010 at 8:38 am
Elisa
First of all, coffee should come in giant cups, if not tubs!
Secondly, Fox is such a wonderful kid and although he is very headstrong and “marches to the beat of his own drum” if you will…you are going to be so thankful for that trait when he is in middle school and high school. He will be a leader and he will be strong and he won’t go off and do things the other kids do just because they are doing it I know it’s kind of a pain right now, but he is only going to be getting older and he will grow into his leadership skills. You know when you are an adult and write “great leadership skills” on your resume you get the job and it’s a good thing…when you are a kid and have “leadership skills” they just call you bossy. It’s not fair really.
Glad to have you guys back home…it was weird having a long weekend where we were actually here and not get to see you guys. But, we got a lot done around the house, so pool parties at our house anytime you want!
June 1, 2010 at 10:51 am
winklybink
hahaha, I totally need to write ‘great leadership skills’ on my resume.
It was weird not seeing you guys, though we were gone for most of the weekend.
June 1, 2010 at 3:56 pm
Johnny
Oh my how I am disturbed by tentacle sex, and Branson. And Sadie, if 2 bothers you, just wait til 15! Love ya.
June 1, 2010 at 8:38 pm
winklybink
Which do you think is more disturbing? I kind of lean toward Branson because at least tentacle sex symbolizes something. Branson is just a straight horrorshow. Though I’m totally going back because Fox loved the lake/river and duck boats. I’m seriously scared for the teenage years! Especially if they pattern themselves after Owasso teens!
June 1, 2010 at 3:58 pm
Johnny
Oh and eating dirt is a normal part of childhood development. Or a symptom of anemia. Anemics crave ice and dirt. Kids just like dirt.
June 1, 2010 at 8:38 pm
winklybink
Ice and dirt is a good diet and you will probably lose lots of weight if you eat that. But you will still be anemic. I crave salt and lemon tea – what’s that mean?
Kids are weird.
June 1, 2010 at 10:15 pm
kris
I had a reader send me a video of tentacle sex (because my readers are all kinds of awesome), and it was alarming and crazy, but also? Slightly arousing. Where will the tentacles go next? There are so many!
Anyway . . . even if tentacle sex is waaaaaay not normal?
Your son? He is normal. Perfectly wonderfully normal. Dirt-eating and all.