Assholes <—-for context, I was going to put this in the post title but then I thought maybe that was uncool. Like saying “fuck” is really cool when it means something you know? But then when you just say, ‘well look at that fucking cat sleeping the fuck on the fucking porch.” you sound kind of fucking stupid? Like that? I don’t know. Cussing in post titles – how do we feel about it?
But, no, distracted.
This special Saturday post (accompanied by a glass of wine) is brought to you by my new totally real friend CathyJoy! Yes, because see, she gave me an award! I know, so much excitement. But it’s not really so much as an award as a clip art saying I’m versatile. Which I had to look up. I am not versatile at blogging since I only have one setting and that’s hyper pissed off but you know what? She cares. And she was like, ‘I pass on love.’
Did any of you other assholes think of that? NO. You people. I see most of your fug faces every damn day and all I get is “are you drunk when you write this shit?” NO ASSHOLES I”M NOT DRUNK I”M VERSATILE. So there.
Cathy you’re in – IRLers you are on notice. Except not for real because what would I do without you?
Check Cathy out at A Little Too Crazy to Be Cool
I love new friends even if they love Jesus and Republicans and collecting rocks like it’s a normal everyday activity. That’s right, Cathy is my Republican friend. And she does not give a shit if you know it or hate it. Which I respect. Plus I needed a Republican friend to help me fight the hippies.
No offense hippies.
Now I have to tell you 7 things about myself that maybe you didn’t know.
Thing 1 – My friends in real life do not kiss my ass enough. Nor do they watch Star Trek every night so when I’m like, ‘omg did you see last night’s episode where Worf trained this girl but she took a dangerous mission and didn’t come back?” they just go, “No sorry we did not see that.” Annoying.
Thing 2 – I’m double jointed. In my fingers. It’s a neat party trick.
Thing 3 – The thing I’m most looking forward too this summer is my sister’s second wedding. Not her second marriage but her second wedding for her first marriage. Yes. Brilliance. She finagled my parents out of two weddings. Only my mom is all like, ‘It’s not a second wedding, it’s a blessing!’
Thing 4 – Elijah Wood hung in my locker when I was 12. That’s right, almost twenty years of Eej love over here.
Thing 5 – God, I have no idea…I mean, what the what else is there to say? I read a lot and I spy on my neighbors but those two things aren’t related.
Thing 6 – So, my neighbor, right? She’s got like 5 boyfriends. It’s very exciting.
Thing 7 – I was the homecoming queen. Let that sink in a moment. I was. In fact, I have been wondering how to work this little fact in without seeming all special and stuff. My mom and sister were also homecoming queens. We are like fucking thorough bred stock.
Finally, I have to pass it on to other blogs that I think are versatile and in this case versatile means awesome. The internet – changing word definitions faster than hip hop.
That’s my reader subscription (minus the manga/superhero/librarian blogs because I’m pretty sure no one here cares about those.) I know I’m supposed to do 15 but I’m new to this whole thing though I really honestly love reading all these blogs and finding more blogs. That’s because people – yes, real and virtual friends together – are amazing.