Just so we’re clear ^ read the subject line

I should amend that  – Prison stories trump ALL stories –

No, wait, actually if you have a story about busting out of prison that would trump just a straight prison story. Makes sense right?

But you are saying, “Sadie you stupid whore you don’t even need to tell me this because, duh, it’s common story knowledge! I mean, if I have a story about prison or hatching chickens with two heads of course I’m going to go for the prison.”

I know, it should be obvious but apparently it’s not. I give you – the lady who assisted with my horribly painful dental procedure.  This lady, god.

Firstly, I really don’t think people with bad teeth should be working in dentist offices. It’s like people with bad hair at the barber shop. Is that discrimination? Maybe. However, I lose faith if your workers can’t manage to keep their teeth in a building that specializes in teeth saving. For real.

Secondly, shut up shut up shut up shut up – did she just say PRISON???? Hell yes, tell me more!

Only I did not get more. What I got was another long involved story about how she can’t (for some damn reason that I’m not clear on) get out to Oregon to see her brother that she hasn’t seen in 29 years.

Bitch, it’s called facebook. Also, Mastercard. Also, what about your jailbird mother????

Prison is hot. God bless you Oz.

I think prison is fascinating. I’ve never been and they don’t offer tours, however, I totally watched Oz so I know that prison is filled with hot guys having sex with nurses, hot guys having sex with each other, hot guys shanking the shit out of their enemies. Prison, according to the Shawshank Redemption, is also about, well, redemption and money. People in prison know things, mostly about what it’s like to be in prison.

Now I know a few of you have actually gone to prison (I got your midnight bail out calls) and I encourage you to share your stories here (anonymously if you like). My favorite prison story is the time Playmate got the crap beat out of him for wearing his signature cap. Sad that he got jumped, that part is not good. However, we ALL learned an important lesson. That lesson is – do not wear pink caps into jail.

Side note: Recently, on an episode of STNG Worf was caught in a prison. You know what it got him? Laid.

Any questions?