In Oklahoma there’s an entire season devoted to tornadoes. It sucks. Today sucks. I’m a city away from my kids. Commuting sucks. People keep commenting on keeping on eye on those storms. People suck. But mostly, tornadoes suck.

I can't tell which is more frightening - the tornado or the cameltoe.

I was here in 1999 when the biggest tornado in history hit. I worked in a library and remember watching the tv at the circulation desk, listening to students debating trying to make it home. People telling others to get away from the damn windows! By people, of course, I mean me. No one listened. Afterward, my friend’s boyfriend who was a paramedic told us horrific stories.

There’s nothing to do but wait. Because it could be nothing. A little rain, maybe some hail. Or it could be something. Just…wait.

I spend days like this just wanting it to be over. The day. The storm. The tummyache. The comments. The speculation. Oh god, the speculation.

When storms come in Oklahoma, everyone is an expert. So all day long there are predictions. This will be huge. This will destroy half the city. It’s coming! It’s coming! Danny, who actually studies meteorology, tells me not to listen. Then he tells me not to worry. THEN he tells me he’ll just drive away from the tornado which – wtf? With hail all around? Where would you go? What if you misjudge, then you’re in a CAR aka worst place to be.

So, I just worry. And hope the cloud cover holds. Hope my friends will be ok. Feel tiny. What else can I do? To make things worse our tv is broken. Great.

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