Over the weekend a dear old friend of mine had her baby. I don’t mean she’s old, I mean, our friendship is old. The type of friendship that began before we even knew how babies were made. Since she lives so far away, it was 24 hours of facebook stalking until the big payoff. Bravo! Yay! Babies! Hospital stay and drugs – woooot!

But I know, in the coming days, she’s going to wake up or blink in her 48th hour of wake and know the truth of babies.

Shit just got real.

Newborns screw with you bad because the first couple weeks they just lay there and sleep. Granted it’s only for like 3 hours at a time so you’re up at night but still. There’s not a ton of crying or the horrible days and nights confusion. You think, “I got it. Babies are easy.”

I am not amused!

Then, around oh the 4 week mark (you know, right after everyone has gone home and all the presents have been opened) that baby figures out that it’s part of the world. Ooooh, and that baby is pissed. Then the real crying starts. When you get to see more of the babies pretty eyes, usually at 3 a.m. Twinkle twinkle hi mommy!!!!

The newborn time is a weird twist of happiness and total complete breakdown. Or at least for me it was. The only thing to do is live through it. Ask for help. Sleep when the baby does.

Though I was never a big fan of any of that advice. Minus the live through it part.  Asking for help is sometimes more trouble than it’s worth (though oftentimes it’s great).  Sleeping when the baby does makes me more tired and I like doing stuff when the baby sleeps. It helps me feel human.

So basically, I got nothing. What would you tell a new mom?