His hot Idol soul. It’s Elvis night! Viva! All that excitement is for E because I couldn’t really give a shit about Elvis anymore than I could about the Beatles. When the hell are they going to do the Cure night? If they do U2 night, I’m done.

But Elvis is ok. Like so many of us, Idol uses Elvis as an excuse to go to Vegas and hook up with Adam Lambert. Except…besides the mountain of base on his face, he’s looking decidedly unGlam.  Glame. He’s sort of excited about meeting the Idols? Mainly he just looks kind of bored. He’ll perk up once he gets a look at young, fresh Timmy Urban.

In the rush of making dinner I again miss the judges intro but who cares.

First up is

Crystal I miss her interaction with Adam and I’m pretty sad about it. I imagine it was a lot of kissing and laughing and guitar signing. Was it?

Anyway, she’s singing “Saved”. It rocks. Of course it does. Next.

Andrew Adam and Andrew have very different ideas of what music should be. Adam thinks music is about emotion and fireworks and sex. Andrew thinks music is about swaying and glasses and daddydom (but not the kinky kind). I’ll leave it you to figure out who’s going to have the bigger career.

Andrew sings “Hound Dog”. Worst Elvis song. He sings it badly too. The only thing that can save this is if he howls at the end. If he howls and grabs his crotch I’ll pick up the phone and vote, sohelpmegodiwill.

He doesn’t.

What the hell is up with Kara? It’s like she woke up, wrapped her pup tent around her boobs and shuffled into work.

It makes me miss Paula.

Speaking of judges they all slam Andrew and call our attention to the fact that TWO people will go home this week.  Gasp. Whatever. The fucking save. I hate it.

Tim So much hotness going on tonight! I mean, ok, yes the Justin Bieber hair has to die but damn. That tight shirt, slightly, casually open and I’m even ok with the necklaces. Adam claws his way into sobriety long enough to share a collective ‘daaaammmmnnn’ with me and the rest of gay/tween/teen/mom America.

Tim sings “Can’t Help Falling in Love”.  Perfect. It’s just nice and pretty and he sits on a stool with his guitar. Not trying to be anything but candy. Yum.

Do you think he planned this? Because, really it’s pretty brilliant. If he were on Survivor we would all be talking about his craftiness. But I find it very hard to believe on account of, you know, his cow eyes.

Judges love it and Simon is starting to see the dollar signs.

Lee Missed his Adam thing. Too bad. I’m sure everyone thinks Lee was made for Elvis. I guess he was.

He sings “A Little Less Conversation” aka Frat Anthem. It’s ok. I just don’t get Lee’s appeal. His growly voice is ok but not fantastic. He’s got zero personality and is doing the the whole ‘I’m not good’ thing that annoys me.

In conclusion – meh.

Breaky time.

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