That’s cult. With an L. I’m seriously worried that people will read that “L” as an “N” and run screaming and/or expect pictures. No.
Anyway, bleach your mind, let it go, I’ve decided that being cool is an impossibility for me. Here is a reenactment of how I came to that realization. It features me played by Penelope Cruz. And my hairdresser/stylist played by someone not as pretty because I’m the stah of this mindshow.
Me (trying to make conversation): Is this Ace of Base?
Her: Um, no. It’s actually Lady Gaga. But…I love Ace of Base.
Oh my god! Embarrassing. I try to recover.
Me: I heard Gaga tickets are really expensive. And only cool people have them, so I’m probably going to get one.
Her: I’ve got mine already. I think they’re sold out.
So then I decide that I can be geek chic. After all, I’ve got a blog on superheroes, I named my kid Fox and I wear glasses. Then, in a freaky coincidence someone sends me this:
What the what? You need intelligence and social grace to be a geek?
Fuuuuuuuck. Ok, so I guess I’m a dork. How Lame. Dorks are lame. I hate them.
But no fear. I have decided that I will become….nefarious.
It’s brilliant really. It’s just one slight jump from obsession/ social ineptitude over to obsession/social ineptitude/attitude problem. Check. Check and Check.
Here’s a nefarious dude.
I have everything he has, greasy dark hair, glaring pissed off face except I’m missing an evil cat. So, I need to hold evil cat auditions.
Not quite right yet. If you have an evil cat, send me a picture!
Finally, to be truly nefarious, I need a cult. That’s where you come in. See, it all comes back to you eventually!
I’ve decided the people in the cult will be called The Nefariati. T-shirts, stickers and Twibbons are coming. Are you game?