It was totally like this! Except with a bat and a troll.

I know this guy! Not the people in the car but the guy with the bat! It’s so exciting! I love when people I know show up in the news for crazy shit. It’s the greatest.

Barry was a strange little man who lived down the road from us. And, trust me, to be called weird in that neighborhood was saying something. We lived next to a musician, a beer distributor, a puppeteer and a mechanic whose high ass constantly mispronounced simple words like gazebo.

*UPDATE* Yes, I am remiss for not mentioning Brian, who was a beer drinking bastard with a set of remote controlled panties. You can see how I wasn’t sure the right way to phrase that.

Anway, Barry. He had  glasses and a whole Rick Moranis except insane vibe. He was nice though, I would never expect him to take a bat to a truck. CRAZY! He lived with a complete weirdo who worked night shift at a hospital and would steal all the janitorial supplies. So you would go to their house and find like, 80 stacked up lava soaps.

Every year they had a throw down awesome crab boil.

So to recap:


crab boil

lava soap


The End.

Oh, and, um, I have a hernia. On my stomach. It’s true. So next time you see me,  please, don’t push it like a button. Thanks.