Yesterday, I just didn’t have it in me and that was bullshit. You should have called me out. You should have been like, ‘bitch where is our goddamn Star Trek/Idol photoshop magic!?!’ You should have demanded I be better. But you failed. So, good job. This blog sucks because you can’t get off your lazy asses and make me make it better. Too bad for you.

As for me, well I have gone looking for inspiration. Who am I? Who do I want to be? These are serious questions that I spend 30 seconds a day thinking about.

Of course the ultimate goal is

yes, to be at least half as cool as that horse.

That’s a while off so I’m setting the bar a little bit lower.

This cruel world is so unfair! Can't a high bitch get some McChicken for McNothing?

Perfection. Really. This broad has it all – her own car, access to booze and a raging case of McDonalds hate.  I’m so jealous. I can be this. Granted it probably means losing my children but I’m in Oklahoma and I’m sure something can be worked out.

How much sweeter would this blog be if it involved me kicking ass and throwing milkshakes? I know!