Ok, I’ve had an apple and some cheese so I’m good to go. Seacrest, go.

Tim Urban – more Texas? Damn. Here’s Tim in a nutshell – football and family and fangs.  Twi-hards you’re welcome. The Universe has delivered onto you Tim Urban. And you know what? I’m totally ok with it! He’s dreamy! Does he sparkle? I don’t know, bitches, we’ll have to wait and see.

He’s singing “Under my Thumb” with some weird beat to it. It’s weird and too jaunty and while the world can use a hundred hot vampires it only needs one Jason Mraz.

The judges all give him A for effort. Don’t vote him off even though he sucked America! Kay?

Ugh, he’s a finger holder upper. He’s lucky I want to eat ice cream off his ass or I would be like, ‘the worst’.

Siobhan Magnus – seriously, that’s her name. Her awesome? name. Like everything else with this girl, I’m torn. I hate having to google ‘siobhan pronounciation’ but I appreciate how it sounds like a stripper turned gladiator. I like her nerdy way but dislike that Texas hair. I enjoy the cute black dress but not the boots. Siobhan, coordinate yourself and put all the parts together so that I can like you.

Sidenote: My friend JS thinks she’s the bees knees.  We’ll probably have words over this.

I’m ignoring the dream talk cause you know I hate “the dream”. She’s singing “Paint it Black”.  Raaaaaalph. I’ll give her this, she’s got a cool voice and this is a hard song.

Mary Poppins tattoo? Whatever, that’s so Siobhan.

No screaming! Scary. The judges heart her face off calling her drama and hot and comparing her to Adam Lambert which…no.

Lee Dewyze – The most interesting thing about Lee is that he worked at a paint store. I know, watching paint dry –  his whole self is a metaphor for BORING.

He’s boringly singing “Beast of Burden” which is about sex but all I can think about is how he’s got a jacket made out of my purse. Crazy. His voice is growly and radio ready but god, even he looks like he’s going to fall asleep.

Randy says he’s a cross between Rob Thomas and Dave Matthews. *shudder*


Paige Miles – wow, that outfit. It’s like Indian Jones if he wanted to strut down South Robinson. She’s singing “Honky Tonk Woman” with a strong but not unique voice.  Kind of generic. But she really knows how to use the stage.

Simon calls her generic! I love when the judges agree with me word for word. Awesome. Oh and she’s got laryngitis.

Aaron Kelly – holy shit! His mom’s name is Kelly Kelly. Ha! I mock. He’s so little, this kid. Like a baby bird. He’s singing “Angie”.  He’s got a neat voice but he’s way to young and it shows. Not young in the sense that Katie is young but undeveloped and innocent.  He needs a few more years.

The judges like it though and you can tell they aren’t wanting to put too much pressure on him. They give him credit for choosing the right song. Word. Oh and Kara spews some nonsense.

Wow! He’s even smaller than Ryan.

Crystal Bowersox – She’s so cool. Hands down my favorite right now. She reminds me of this girl I met at summer camp who was just awesome. I’ll even forgive her the song “You Can’t Always Get What you Want” because sometimes, even though you don’t at all want this horrible song to be sung you at least get what you need in the way of an indie yet pop friendly voice singing it.

There’s so much boot wearing. It’s spring ladies!

The judges are luke warm but still think she’s the favorite to win but got “beat” by Siobhan.

Overall this is a talented bunch though no one is just jumping out at me right now.

Top picks:

Michael, Siobhan, and Crystal

in trouble:

Lacey and Andrew

What do you think? Seacrest out!