So, oh, yeah hi…um, I guess you caught me staring at your son.  This is, awkward.

He looked like this, only in toddler form.

He’s just so cute.  So cute.  I mean, his eyes are huge!  It’s the perfect eye/face saturation.  A little big bigger and he would look like a frog but no, they are just big enough.  Is this a genetic thing?  Are you from the future?  Because, like, ok, there’s this movie Gattaca and in it we learn that future peoples will be able to pick certain genetic qualities for their children.  Some people feel like this is wrong but I come down on the side of awesome on that.

No! Wait, don’t go! I’m not creepy! I’m here legit.  See, I’ve got kids too.  A baby – who is…well, I’m not sure at the moment but I mean, how far can he go?

And then my older son…oh yeah, there! Yes, he’s the one licking puzzles.

Your son met my baby earlier when he shared a toy with him.  That was nice.  Adorable and nice.  Are you a Stepford?  If you are, sign me up.  What’s your boy’s name?  Trenton.  Ohhhh, well, I mean he’s cute enough to pull that unfortunate choice off.  Mine are Fox and Leo.  It’s ok you don’t have to comment right away.  I know, it takes a minute to decide if that’s cute or cruel.

Speaking of cute, gah, your kid is so fucking cute! I can’t get over – um, the cussing?  I’m working on that.  I only use if for emphasis and, no?  But he’s so fu , freaking, Gaga levels of adorability.  Oh, you’re running away.  Ok.  bye.  I’ll see you later…

in my dreams.

Sigh. Sit Sit Sit.

Stand up, pull Fox off a younger child.  Sit sit sit.

E: You know that kid has a younger sister.

Me: WHAT?  Shut up.  Seriously?  Where is she?

E: I don’t know, somewhere.

Me: I don’t believe you. (I’m not very nice to E but I’m like the only person she knows with kids who doesn’t talk about Jesus constantly)

Sit sit sit.  Go get Fox off the puppet stage and there –

the fabled girlchildelfinmessofcute.

She looked like this, only without the tail.

She looks just like her brother!  Only smaller! and in a white coat!  AAAAAHHHH must. resist. urge. to take phone picture.  Don’t pick up the girl and run.  Jail.

Oh, yes,  hi me again.  Just stalking your girl.  What’s her name?  Jane.  That is sweetness.  This your husband?  Being actively involved and playing on the floor?  That’s nice.  My husband was recently given a pair of giant Batman underpants and looks like Pacey.  From Dawson’s Creek.  So…

You’re leaving?  But our conversation in my mind isn’t over yet. O…k…bye…

Crash. Wail. Sigh.