This blog has backfired in my face.

Let me rewind – I realized after talking to no end about candy and robots and Lt. Commander Data that maaaaaybe you have the impression that I’m

So I decided to clear that up for you.  I went to one of those celebrity generators to find out what beautiful person I actually resemble.  It’s science.

Find your twin – it says.

Total twinkies

Uh huh.

Then I did a little digging and discovered what all the cool kids were using so I could get a better sense of who I should be identifying with – besides becoming black but that much has always been obvious.

Oh my god! It’s going to take so much candy therapy to get over this.

I don’t even know where to start.

Matthew McConaughey?  He’s not goodlooking even by straight guy standards.

And old Mia Farrow?  I look like freaking old Mia Farrow?

Then you have Ashley Olson who isn’t biodegradable.

And Shahid Kapoor – who is that guy?  Is he at all connected to Christie Brinkley circa the 80s?  The 80’s!  Looking 80’s is not good news.  It hasn’t come back yet.  It’s still very much squicky.