Wow, I’m truly surprised at the number of grown women who are obsessed with Teen Mom.  And, hey, I’m not knocking that because I too have become besties with Farrah and her Farrah hair.  I too want to both kill and sleep with Ryan.  I too long for bad ass Amber to actually graduate from highschool.  Freaking highschool people, that’s both sad and fascinating.

Warning: this post is not going to include balls – instead I’ve decided to go serious nuts on yo face.  If you don’t like it, well, I don’t know – I don’t want you to leave so maybe I’ll have a little sumin sumin for you at the end.  But, not balls, I’m sick of those.

I stayed up really late last night to catch the Dr. Drew – eeee! he calls people on twitter, tweeples! –  finale.  Dr. Drew, such an enigma.  On the one hand  – thoughtful therapist.  On the other hand –  fame whore.

Let me say up front that I fully support the right of women, even teenage women, to make informed decisions about their bodies, their pregnancies, their lives.   Whether that be abortion, adoption or “keeping it” which always sounds to me like some kind of unfortunate pinanta prize.  Like, ‘Oh suck.  A Bit-Oh-Honey, oh well, I’m keeping it.’  Anyway, I also fully support giving women the ‘informed’ part of that statement.  More education, more family involvement, more… I don’t know what.  It just seems to me that we are leaving our girls out to flail along in a world that is charmed and repulsed by them.  Is it a “girl” thing?  That, since they are women, they were more disposable in the first place.  I wonder if boys were able to conceive if we would see the kind of call to action that we see against school violence.  As a nation we seemed so concerned about keeping our young people from killing each other or off drugs (and all worthy things, yes but generally male dominated) and yet openly mock pregnant students.

Tangent – sorry.  Back on track.

So, MTV puts these girls on television and, generally, I think that’s a good thing.  Because I’m all for giving teens their voice though I imagine that much of their pain and joy has been exploited.  That’s the nature of reality TV.  I’m sure they prodded these girls into emotional moments that maybe wouldn’t have happened organically.  Not saying the emotions are real but just…made for tv you know?

What I find so compelling is how the girls handle themselves.  There’s this completely false notion that when a teenager has a baby they “grow up fast”.  But that’s bullshit.  You don’t biologically suddenly develop ten years just because you had a baby.  Culturally, these girls are caught in a paradigm.  Did I use that word correctly?  Who cares, you know what I mean, right?  Of course, you do.  Paradigm.  Shunned by their peers for suddenly having to ‘grow up’ and shunned by adults for being ‘stupid enough to get pregnant’ they exist lonely.  The one thing all three girls who kept their bit-oh-honeys had in common was their pretty intense isolation.   Which every new mother feels to some extent but god, I can’t imagine that combined with watching your future fall apart.

Then there’s the men.   I think this show highlighted more than ever society’s willingness to let young fathers walk away.  No one was yelling at Ryan to shape up yet plenty of ‘take care of your baby’ guilt was heaped on Maci.  WTF society?  QUIT PISSING ME OFF.

Finally, of course, there’s stebsiblings turned lovers (like a manga!) Catelynn and Tyler – who, according to every statistic I’ve ever seen, should not have chosen adoption, should not have stayed together, should not be able to talk about their choice and experience with the depth and maturity that they do.  They surprised us didn’t they?  I don’t know about you but I sobbed giant snot tears for them during the finale.  Yet, they are so secure in their choice and happy yet damn, sad. Sad sad sad. Happy, then more sad.

I want to laugh at these girls but I can’t.  Because they are mothers.  Like me.  And not like me.  I hope for the best for all of them and of course their babies.  This is a rambling make no sense post – sorry, I’ll have my shit together tomorrow.  maybe.

In closing, keep your chin up girls, it’s a fight, every day – even for those of us that do it “the right way”.  But every right way girl I know had at least one moment of ‘ohh please don’t let me be pregnant’ or even ‘I’m pregnant but I’m going to the clinic’.

For those of you heartless bitches who didn’t watch Teen Mom –