Turning 30, the New Year and an ice storm – it’s like a life ennui trifecta (I’m thmart with fancy wurdz). Seriously. I watched the radar and was all, ‘great, what am I going to do for four days with this person and these half people.’ Don’t get me wrong, I love my family but four days inside?
And it’s not like I could just sit around and watch Teen Mom all day. No, stuff needed tending to.
But, I thought! Hey great Monday therapy blog post. Boredom! I had been feeling, in general, pretty bored with life. I mean, I know you’re all, ‘what? but you are beautiful with a great career and a gorgeous family and you poop rainbows – what more could you want?’
Those things are true and thanks for pointing them out. Still…still. I have been experiencing this sort of, I don’t know, lost feeling. You know, in your early twenties you feel that potential. There’s an entire decade to become that thing that you want to become. Then it runs out. And at the end I’m not a ballerina, Neil Gaiman’s cool fiancee, a roller girl and no one has called me to guest star on Glee. But, I haven’t checked my voicemail today so…fingers crossed!
Then the ice storm hit and something changed. Watching each little berry get wrapped in ice, all secluded and alone, I took notice and said, ‘damn self, check out that metaphor.’ and self said, ‘it’s fucking cold out here’.
Still, I couldn’t ignore it. I had been locked, lonely in my own head I guess. I was so concerned with wondering how I can convince the New York City Ballet that a short, carb loving girl could really be the next Gisele – minus all that gross sweating and practicing and starving crap – that I missed what I liked about my life.
What I chose for my life and what I didn’t choose but am grateful for anyway. I mean, I’m not saying I turned around and sang a song (though I can Glee producers, what what!). But I did relax and laughed and sat in my snuggie while Fox sang me his songs.
It was enough. I’m not like an encased little tree berry anymore.
How about you? Are you feeling any listlessness? or boredom with your life? How do you cope? Talk to meh.