6:15 – open eyes.
6:20 – close eyes.
6:21 – open eyes. Keep eyes open. This is very hard.
7:30 – turn on computers, try to avoid helping creepy dead-fish arm janitor put on his glove.
7:32 – put on janitor’s glove.
8:00 – ref desk – ask me anything? No one? Ok then…
8:30 – genealogy question, am sorry I wished for people to ask me questions.
9:00 – check in courier books. use industrial strength cleaner to get off left over sticky goo. nearly suffocate from industrial cleaner fumes. hands completely dried out.
10:00 – consider googling “industrial cleaner hellish side effects” but since the internet told me yesterday that I’m dying of red mole cancer I figure what’s the point.
11:00 – eat the heads off animal crackers and throw the bodies away. Not sure why I do this.
11:30 – resist the urge to limit number of books checked out to patron who always jokes about having too many overdues and always jokes about not knowing how many she checks out and then always takes about 20 more books.
11:45 – decide to help Dear Abby out by answering some of her questions:DEAR ABBY: I’m having a dispute with my husband. He thinks that you screw in a lightbulb clockwise. I disagree. I say counter-clockwise. Which of us is correct? — ERIKA IN PELHAM, ALA. DEAR ERIKA: You are both wrong! In your case, you don’t screw in the lightbulb at all! What you need to do is take the lightbulb and smash it. Then take one of the glass shards and slit your wrists because you are too stupid to live. —-Kisses, ABBY’S ELF
I don’t know why but this one really cracked me up:DEAR ABBY: My parents divorced when my older brother and I were small. Mom remarried, and I was adopted by the wonderful man who raised me as his beloved daughter. I had limited contact with my biological father, “Nate,” which seemed to please everyone. After my adopted dad passed, Nate came back into my life. I have not seen much of him but he was present at my second marriage five years ago, traveling across country to be there. Last month he called to tell me he has been diagnosed with terminal cancer and has named me as his heir since my older brother is deceased. As a birthday gift, I presented him with a box from a company that does genome sequencing. It allows people to see their DNA and learn about their ancestry as well as any health-related issues. I enjoyed learning about genetics and thought Nate would, too. Imagine how stunned I was when I learned that Nate is NOT my father. The company has assured me there is little chance the test is wrong, and they are certain we are not related. I am close to my mother and horrified that she kept this secret from me for more than 50 years. I don’t want anyone to be hurt, but I need the truth. What do I do? — QUESTIONING MY DNA IN S.F.
12:00 – make a list of things to pick a fight with Danny about. It looks like this:
- tell him crop circles are manmade
- tell him that in no way will robots ever decide to murder humans – even if they are equipted with A.I.
- tell him that in an earthquake standing in a doorway is much safer than running into the street.
decide not to pick a fight since it’s his birthday.
12:20 – attempt to make a list of world leader’s that I’m probably cooler than.
12:25 – abandon world leader list because I don’t know enough about any of them and I’m bored with the project all ready.
12:30 – make a list of family members that I’m probably cooler than. It looks like this:
- all of them
12:40 – bo’d
12:45 – reflecting on lists. I like lists. I like lists because they are
I also like multiple layer lists that look like this
- thing that goes under thing
- still more things that go under the first thing – outlines yes!
12:50 – feel comforting satisfaction that I have chosen the right career.
12:55 – check out enormous stack of dvds.
2:20 – look for links for Oklahoman blog but no one is writing anything that’s impressing me. Step it up people.
3:30 – send off Oklahoman blog with only two links. meh.
3:40 – generate a kitty
3:45 – order books. focus as best as friday afternoon will allow. resist generating 80 more kitties.
4:00 – listen to Glee soundtrack and get ready to go home!
What did you do today? Did you generate any kitties? You can take that to mean something dirty.