Ok, so, I understand wearing a huge camouflage coat on the morning commute.  After all, you are occasionally in the words where a colorblind deer might spot you.  And of course, I get why you’re drinking Nati Lite this early – I mean, it’s beer or therapy am I right?

Hey, I even appreciate why you stick your hillbilly cousin in the bed where he could fly into the ditch given the slightest bump.  That’s just natural selection.

I like the nightlife, baby.I like the nightlife, baby.

But god why why why do you have to drive a giant, hulking monstrosity?  Is there not smaller truck that can cart you, your girlfriend, your boyfriend, your kill and your afore mentioned idiot cousin?  You have to drive a tank?  And don’t even get me started on your insane side mirrors.  Why do they have to have an extra ten feet sticking out from your car?  Do you have a need to see 50 cars behind you but miss me, the person who’s trying to pass you without getting sucked into your wind vortex?

This shit is unacceptable.  Un. acceptable.*

It gives me the road rage.  What about you?  Who or what on the road makes you wish for a set of police spikes?  And, more importantly, how do you cope?  Do I even have to tell you I like to flip them off?  Only my husband insists this is dangerous so I’ve been trying to keep it under control.

*I have a kind of love/hate relationship with larger vehicles (exceptions being giant trucks and Hummers – those are just obscene).  On the one hand I really like the small, hybrid cars (trendy!) because they are good for the environment (whatever) and they come in a bunch of cute pastel colors (like Easter!).  On the other hand, lots of yuppies still drive SUVs and they look cool driving on the backdrop of the ocean or the mountains so…